Friday, December 4, 2009

Temporary Home

Well goodness, I haven't been very good at relaying what happens here have I? Well to tell the truth, the novelty kinda wore off after the first few weeks, so nothing has really seemed that exciting. I guess that means I'm adjusting well and nothing is taking me by surprise anymore, but I miss the newness of it all.

I guess the only thing that has changed significantly is the way I view home. Before I moved to college, I'd lived in the same house my whole life. I'd never really known what is was like to leave my family. I thought that I would have a terrible time not always having someone around. I always knew where home was--or at least I thought I did.

It turns out that I've grown closer to God and the relationships that I do have are a lot more meaningful now. I've experienced the fact that God IS with me, even when nobody else is. The friends I've made are so fantastic! I no longer just have a whole bunch of friends and family around to keep me company all the time. The friends I have are in my lfe because we've both worked to see each other and spend time with each other. I don't really have any of those "class friends"--you know, those firends you have just because you're at the same table in class. I do have firends in class, don't get me wrong, but I see them outside of class, too.

Home. For my whole life I've thought home was a blue house with a maple tree in the front yard in the middle of Colorado Springs. But now, when I say "Ok, I've really got to be heading home now." I mean my little 6'x10' dorm room. I don't consider it home, but it's just too complicated to call it anything else.

It kinda reminds me of how we're supposed to think of our life here on earth compared to our life in heaven. We should think of heaven as our home and as our earthly existance as a temporary home.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Word Vomit

My sophomore year in high school, my English teacher's name was Mrs. Rewey. We wrote a lot in that class. She used an illustration that you can't quite ignore. "When you start," she would say, "it's going to be like word vomit, everything just spewing out of you in slimy chunks that don't really belong together." She would go on to explain that eventually you can craft that word vomit into a coherent, logical essay. Well you know what....I'm just gonna vomit tonight. No crafting, just the slimy chunks.

It snowed this weekend. Very cool and not cool at the same time. It forced those in power to cancel the choir performance and the Homecoming Game, therefore I didn't go. LAME! I was kinda ticked, but it was cold and we lost anyway.

I finally brought myself to talk to Jill today. Well, not ACTUALLY verbally talk to her, but write her a note that really came from my heart. It's just a little over 9 months since she passed away. I still gets to me to think of what she could have done with her life, what an impact she could have made and the world missed out on the beautiful person she was. But then I stop and think about it--she did a lot in her life! She touched the hearts of everyone that knew her in a mere 18 years. She DID have an impact on the world: she proved that humanity is not lost, that there is still hope alive and well, and courage and love can live on past death. The world may have missed out on her, but she sure didn't miss out on the world. She made every moment count.

I can't do it. Not on my own. I've been striving for independence for so long and now I realize that having people around you that you can count on is the best thing in the world.

People say that "you're your own worst critic". I beg to differ. Little sisters are the worst critics ever...at least for me. She gets me on everything: "You are wearing SOO much make-up" "Could you just stop being in the way, please." "You walk in my way all the time. Just go walk over there." But you know what....I'm better because of it. She's so picky and she just hammers out all the kinks. She's like a Life Editor. She'll look at what I did, bleed red pen all over it, hurt my feelings a little, but turns what I did into what she knew I could do.

God, too, is like a Life Editor-in-Chief. He takes all of our "word vomit", bleeds Christ's blood-red pen all over it, and turns our life from what we could do into what he will do.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Excuses, excuses

It's been awhile since I've made a new post. But I just get really busy and tired a lot of the time. School is stressful, I'm looking for a job, I have a choir concert to prepare for, etc. The list could go on forever. Truth be told, the blog is just NOT a priority in my life because I don't make time for it. I want it to be, but I can want a lot of things. There's a big difference between what you want and what you're willing to work for.

We use those same excuses with God, don't we? Take that sentence that starts "Truth be told..." and substitute "God" for "the blog". Scary, huh? "I can't do my Bible Study right now, God, I have to study." "I can't pray right now, Jesus, there are too many other things on my mind." How stupid can we get? What other book is the divine word of God and deserves more attention? Not any of my text books, that's for sure. (Truth be told, they might be the not-so-divinely inspired money-orientated pieces of paper with words on them) When we have things that are troubling us, what better to do than pray? I dunno. I know when I'm stressed, praying isn't my first reaction. Eating or being with people is.

Not a whole lot has happened since I last wrote. School is school. KD is kinda like a retreat that I can go to anytime I want. I've already shared my faith with a couple of my sisters. They saw me doing my Bible Study while I was waiting on a friend and they asked what I was doing, so I told them. Navs is fantastic! I wouldn't want to have a better pair of things to be involved in. Other than math, life is good.

Friday, September 18, 2009

"Sisters, sisters..."

Remember that great ol' song from White Christmas? "Sisters. sisters. there were never such devoted sisters." Talk about a theme song! The last few days have been wrapped up in the process of becoming a "Sister". Yeah, like in a sorority.

Before anything gets started, I just want to dispel any rumors you might have heard about sorority girls. Every sorority has a GPA requirement, a "man schedule", a strict "no hazing" policy, and do not allow any sort of alcohol anywhere on the premises of a sorority house.

But anyway, Monday I started "rushing". It's just a fancy name for recruitment. I think they call it "rush" because that's what you do: you rush around trying to prove to the sorority that you are worth getting to know. Most girls started rushing on Saturday. Not me. I chose Navs over sororities this time. I started Monday, like I said, two days after everyone else. A normal schedule would have had two days of getting to know people, house tours, etc followed by one night focused on the philanthropy of that chapter, and then a final night called Preference night. Oh, no, not for Abby. I always end up doing thing the hard way. I packed the house tours, meeting people, and philanthropy all into one night. And not just for one chapter; all seven. Yes, I went to all seven sororities in about an hour-and-a-half. Don't talk to me about "rush"!

My thought process contained the following thoughts: What's the worst that could happen? I came in without a sorority and I can come out without a sorority, not a big deal. They only met me for what? Ten maybe fifteen minutes? I don't know a lot about them and they don't know a lot about me, so if no one calls me back for Pref. night, I understand.

I got called back....by my my top choice: Kappa Delta. I was so happy! Pref. night is the most formal of all the nights, so of course I got dressed up. It was really fun! I felt like I was getting ready for the Homecoming Dance again.

Pref. night consisted of fondue and more talking and laughter. Between the two sessions, there was probably about seventy ladies coming into Kappa Delta, or KD for short. Obviously, they couldn't accept all seventy of us, so it was my second and last shot at showing them who I really am. After we were done there, we went back to the student center and signed a card that basically said that if that sorority (possibly two, if you were lucky) gave you a bid, you'd take it. For some girls it was a really tough decision. I was happy that I had prayed up and I knew that Kappa Delta is where God had set before me, so I was in and out of there so fast you could hardly even spell "Kappa Delta"

Then there was bid night. The night where you see if what you had work so hard for payed off. I noticed that some girls that had been in my group weren't there. I couldn't help feeling bad for them. Obviously they had wanted it and they'd been in the process longer that I had. I wondered if I had stolen one of their spots. For me, I had only one choice, and obviously I had been called back, so I knew where I was headed, but for the other girls who had put down two choices, they had no idea and some of them were really nervous about it. I paralleled it to knowing Christ. I only signed up for Jesus; THE way, THE truth, and THE life. I know where I'm headed when I'm done here on earth. What about those other girls who have signed up for a multitude of meaninglessness? They have no certainty. I think that's why God turned me Greek.

The big moment arrived. Our liaisons, technically called Rho Gammas, handed each of us a small white envelope with our names neatly and plainly printed on the front. Each envelope contained one invitation to one sorority. 5.....4.......3......2......1......GO! I pealed open my envelope quickly, but carefully not wanting to rip the invitation inside. It read: You are cordially invited to become a member of the Phi Epsilon Chapter of Kappa Delta Sorority. September 16, 2009.

I was a KD!! I was so excited to join my new sisters and a new community. I'm honestly really proud of myself for not crying. You see, one of my closest friends from high school is a KD. I found her and we held each other for at least a minute, knowing that finally we have a secure connection to each other that nobody can break, that this new "family" had been mutually agreed upon by both parties. Somehow it's more special when you choose it.

The rest of the night was filled with laughter and hugs all the way around. I'm very happy with my decision to "Go Greek". I feel like I'm part of a group of people that not only did God choose way ahead of time, not only did I choose, but that they chose me, too. Now I have one-hundred-nine other "such devoted sisters"

Friday, September 11, 2009

Thinking About Today

Today marks the 8th anniversary of the September 1th Attacks on the World Trade Center and The Pentagon. It's a day to remember and to just think back on what happened then, where we are now, and what we are becoming as a nation, as communities, as families, and as individuals.

On September 11, 2001 I had just started 5th grade. I was young and didn't fully understand what had happened. I remember knowing that my country- the strongest country in the world- had been attacked by terrorists and it scared me. My school had everyone gather around the flag pole outside so that the Principal could give us the news in the best little kid version she could. They let us have a moment to just think about it and that was the first time I remember praying at school. Someone asked me what I was doing and I just told them that I was praying. They just kinda looked at me funny and that was that.

Today, I'm a freshman in college. I'm starting my adulthood. I'm in a new place with new people, and I like it. I was walking between my class and my dorm this morning and I saw a little patch of grass covered in little American flags. It touched me. I began thinking about how many people younger than me actually remember what happened. Are there those younger than me that remember it? Or is my age group the youngest rememberers?

In the future, I hope I never forget to tell my kids what happened. To tell them that even the highest security has its flaws. The only way to be completely safe from any harm is to trust God. At that point, harm-maybe even MORE harm-WILL come to you, but you'll have the assurance that he allowed it to happen and that if you just hang on, everything will be okay.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Basic Concepts of....

The Basic Concepts of...

....Plant Life. My science class this semester. Surprisingly, I've only slept in that class once.

....Health. Eat good food, drink lots of water, take showers, brush your teeth. Basic stuff, yes, but when all you want to do is just sleep, you cut out things for those "5 more minutes"

....Economics. I find myself saying "Do I really have money to spend on this right now?", unless I'm at a dollar store. At dollar stores I ask "Is this a piece of junk that I wouldn't pay more than a dollar on so it's not even worth it or is it something worth more than a dollar so it's a good deal?"

....Sanity. "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." but all play and no work makes Jack's parents wonder if all that money they're spending on his college "education" worth it. We (my roommate and I) have a poster in our room that says " Do it your way in work and play. Balance. Your life. Your future."

....Navigation. No, not knowing how to get around. Okay, YES, navigation IS knowing how to get around and not get lost, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm taling about the Navs group. I know I talk about it a lot, but it's pretty much the best part of my week. It's kinda like church, but shorter and I don't feel awkward when I walk in by myself. I'm in a Navs bible study and I like it.



I'm having a great time up here. I'm at the point where the excitment has worn off and routine has set in. I feel tired a lot, and all I really think about is "When is class? How hungry am I? Can I get a nap in?" But we have a long weekend ahead and.....I GET TO GO HOME!!!!!

Have a good, safe Labor Day weekend.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

My First Weekend: Part 2- C.O.P.S.

"The names in the following have been changed to protect the innocent.." is how some reality police shows start off. I'm obviously not writing a script for a reality police show, but I'm sure cops deal with what happened last night all the time.



Let me start off by saying that I'm fine. I just don't know how to process this so I'm a little shook up, but I'll be fine. I just need to get it out of my system.

I have a friend. We'll call her Martha. Martha and I were bored, so we went out to try and find something to do. Martha and I drove around trying to find something to, but we could not find anyhing, so we called one of Martha's friends. We'll call this friend Anna. As Martha was talking on the phone with Anna, she could tell that Anna was not okay and that there was something really, really wrong. Without thinking or discussing it, we headed over to Anna's as fast as we could. On our way, I asked Martha "Do you want me to come in with you or just wait outside?"
"You should probably just stay in the car, but I'll call you if I need to." Martha replied.
We arrived. I stayed in the car.

Just as we arrived, Anna's boyfriend was leaving. He had been living with Anna for the last few months, and now he was leaving her. They were in really big argument, things started getting really heated. One thing built on top of another and Anna ended up hurt. I mean really hurt. Emotionally. Mentally. Physically.

After Anna's boyfriend left, Martha called me and wanted me inside. I went. We sat with Anna waiting for the police to show up. We did a lot of comforting, a lot of bandaging, and a lot more comforting. I hardly knew Anna. I has just met her earlier in the day, but I hurt for her. She was so strong about everything, but at the same time you could tell that she was just crumbling. I was never exposed to anything like this before and I thought I would be more scared, but I wasn't. I thought I would feel really awkward about comforting her when I didn't even know her, but I wasn't. Looking back on it, I see that Christ was there. Yeah, bad things happened that night, but it could have been a lot worse.

Anyway, it wasn't very long before the police officer arrived. He was very good at his job. Never once did he come across mean or insensitive or demeaning. A very good cop. We (Martha and I) just did a lot of listening, but each of us did fill out a report. After all, we were witnesses.

We packed up a few of Martha's things and were on our way. Three girls and two dogs just trying to get away. Anna spent the night at Martha's and will probably continue to do so until the Restraining Order comes into effect or the boyfriend is in custody.

A very Exciting night. I'm actually kinda relieved that we ended up helping a friend through a crisis rather than going to a party. I felt better about it.

C.O.P.S....Counting On Promised Security. Last night just made me realize in a very vivid way that anything can happen at anytime. Our world, no matter how routine, is never static. One minute "he loves me" and the next minute "he left me". The only person we can really ever count on is God.

I left them (Martha and Anna) saying that I would be praying for them, and I have been. They both need Christ so badly in their lives, so I plead with you to pray for them, too.

Friday, August 28, 2009

My First Weekend: Part 1-- 24 and Water Pong

Yes, 24. A number that not many of us think about on a daily basis. Let's take some time to do a quick study, shall we?

"Let's start from the very beginning...." 24 is a even integer, divisible by 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 8, 12, and 24.


There are 24 hours in a day


Many drinks come in 24 ounce sizes


There's a hit TV show on FOX named "24"



A popular gym chain is called 24 Hour Fitness



Here comes the shocker. A lot of us know Romans 3: 23 " for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". This is true and vital to our salvation. We all are sinners!! There's no way around it. But knowing verse 23 makes verse 24 all the better. Romans 3:24 says "and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." How awesome is that?!?! Reading both verses together sounds like this..."for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." The speaker at the Navs' group here on campus talked about this passage tonight.



Oh, yeah, by the way, I got connected with the Navs' group. The only way I can accurately describe it is real. It's led by real students with real stories. They show off their real faith in what God can do in sombody's life. They really know how to worship, pray, and fellowship with everything they have. I love it!!! (This is the part where I thank my mom for taking a job with the Navigators. If there wasn't that connection there, I don't think I would have taken the opportunity as seriously as I did.) Especially the fellowship.

After the meeting tonight, they invited the whole group over to a house for a kegger. No, not a BEER kegger, a WATER kegger. It was really fun. Not like I know or anything, but apparently it's just like a regular college party, but without the bad side effects. It was great!! I had soooo much fun!!

My first full week of classes are over and I survived. I'm having a wonderful time, but it's not home. I have actually lost a few pounds rather than gaining, but yes, I'm eating as much as I need to. I did laundry today and it was really expensive, but now I have clean clothes. YAY!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Intro

Hi! My name is Abigail Grosenbach, but most people just call me Abby. I'm a feshman Journalism major at Colorado State University, and that's kinda what this is all about. I'll be relaying to you my major experiences (or not so major) and what I learned from them. Actually, it'll end up being like a journal, more than anything. I'll write it, you can take it of leave it.

This is mostly so that my friends and family can keep up with me and how I'm doing without me having to send out a mass e-mail. If you just happen to come here without knowing who I am or what I'm doing, I invite you to stay and learn about me. It could be informative, insightful, and entertaining all at once.

In either case, here it is. College: Year 1